maybe I love him


His ways, the way he treats me is not out of the ordinary. We were talking three years ago but turned out he didn't want anything so nothing happened...well not nothing per-say. He wanted to be friends, I said fine but I have been on an emotional roller coaster with him that I've told him we can't be friends several times. I've ignored we've stopped talking and everything your girlfriends tell you how to get over a crush that didn't work out. But with all these advice there's nothing you can really do but be addicted to him. We had a "No Strings Attach" moment and still continuing but it's not as much as before considering the fact he has someone now. I've done the crying and the rejection feeling has passed, at least I always lie to myself that it has. Now we are "friends" I talk to him like any guy friends I've had but this one has a flirt recipe in it and he does the same. He claims he cares for me, he claims he wants me in his life, loves talking to me and yet nothing would ever happen. I stopped having hope but when you hear someone say "you never know. Never say never" I want to punch him in the face but I can't help that I like him..a lot and enjoy his annoying presence and remind myself we will never ever ever be together so I say to myself i will get over him, he will be a memory of the past, he will be gone or maybe I love him? But that can't really can't but I do wish I was over him and wish he can just leave me alone for real this time not for a week or so then tell me he misses me.

This has got to be a phase...because love can not be.

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