too weak a word

Mike Oncley

rollin' through sushi school!

On Friday evening Hanna, Elizabeth and I went to a sushi making class! I've always wanted to do this before and the fact that it was sushi {my favorite food!} was even more amazing. It was three fun-filled hours of cutting, rolling, eating and talking! Definitely an experience I'll always remember!

adding sushi vinegar to the rice

Hanna and Lizzie working on their cucumber rolls! {rice on the inside}

California roll with the rice on the outside! {not as tricky as it looks!}

Cheering with our spicy tuna, cucumber and avocado hand rolls!

Shrimp, Salmon, Octopus and Yellowtail Nigiri
The teacher, although not Japanese, has had extensive training in the U.S. and Japan since she was in high school. She taught us so many things I'd never heard before. She's extremely picky when it comes to sushi and I couldn't believe she hadn't gone out and payed for sushi in 10 years! She said that once you have it a certain way you can't have it any other way. I somewhat disagree with this because there are some amazing and innovative sushi chefs in LA but from a traditional standpoint I guess I can understand. Traditional sushi is really basic so as long as you've made good rice and have fresh fish you're pretty much set! I definitely feel a lot more confident in my sushi skills and I'm hoping to put it to the test soon!

pick me


You have always been ambitious and i love that about you. Your only 20 but you have already started up your own business and it is doing so well, i couldn't be more proud to call you my boyfriend. and you know that, i helped you set it up. i came up with the name , and i did all the design and advertising for it.

i understand owning your own business , especially when your so young is stressful and you have to work a lot, i try and make it easier for you by helping out as much as i can. i make dinner for you , do your washing and clean your house when you've been too busy .. the list goes on and on.
But one thing that upsets me , is that sometimes you work when you don't have too.. Your mum calls you a workaholic , and id agree. although i didn't think it was a bad thing. Until i started feeling less and less important. and realised that in the last 6 months , Ive been finding myself up the mountain, staring at the ocean alone, our little place we used to go every week at least once and walk the dogs.

Ive told you about this, we have even had fights over it. How your work always comes first and how i always have to wait till everything is done before i even get a "hey babe how are you'. But you always say sorry and tell me you don't mean too and your gonna start leaving work related issues behind when the doors close at 5 o'clock. i always believe you, cause i love you and i want to take your word for it.

But then things like tonight happen : i ask if you would like to have dinner with me and my parents at 7. you say yes although you have a few things to do before hand but you'll be there.. great, I'm excited.

its then 7 and your not here, i call you and you say your still working and you'll be another hour, but your so sorry and you'll make it up to me.

its now 8.53 and your still not here. Me and my parents have already eaten. i go to call you to ask where the hell you are. and my mum tells me to stop nagging you, your busy and you'll come when your ready.

Why is it OK for you to always let me down and put work before me . Why doesn't everyone else see how frustrating it is to have to fight for your own boyfriends attention .

i love you , but just once i want you to forget about work and dedicate one night to me. i don't think its too much to ask.

is it?

Please, pick me. i'm tired of waiting.

♥ Claud

look book: walking into fall

Happy Monday everyone!! Was it just me or was this kind of a weird weekend? In LA it seemed like the changing of seasons. We had this crazy heat wave last week but then both Saturday and Sunday we had hazy, cold mornings that led into sunny, but breezy afternoons. The lighting definitely screamed fall and it made me feel like I wasn't ready. It reminded me of going back to school but wanting to hold onto summer as long as I could! It led to a strange mood of missing college, friends, the Bay Area and wanting a change of my own. Coincidentally I had lunch with a friend from college and it was crazy that we hadn't seen each other since last September! She's had some amazing changes over the past couple months (she transferred with her job from D.C. to San Diego, scored an awesome raise, got an interview for TFA and a scholarship for a grad program!). I am so so happy for her and it was awesome to see her in person to share in the good news! It did make me wish, though, that I had more of a direction with what I want to do. She's so lucky that she knows what she wants and is going after it! I still feel like I have so many different interests and I don't know which one to pursue. I know I'll figure everything out..hopefully sooner rather than later though!

romper Marshalls, jacket H&M, necklace Elephantine, head wrap random tie, shoes Jeffrey Campbell, purse Coach, ring Erica Anenberg via Gilt/Hautelook

Can I just tell you all how excited I am to be wearing this beautiful necklace from Rachel's Elephantine jewelry line!? I've been a fan of her work since last year and it's such an honor to share with you this stunning piece. Rachel's handmade designs are beautiful, dainty and so unique! I love this necklace, the Akira, because of the four little diamond shapes hanging so perfectly from the chain. It's one of those pieces I can wear again and again {and I will, just you wait!}. Go check out her etsy and cartel will be blown away with loveliness!

Have a great day! And don't have a case of the Mondays!

wondering if it is worth it.


I try so hard not to give up on love. I see it all around me and all of my close friends have felt it, except for me. I used to have hope that one day it would be my turn, after all I am only 18. But every time I am presented with the possibility of love I freeze, and completely screw it up. I push it away before it gets too intense, I convince myself that I'm only going to get hurt and what's the point? I wont end up marrying this person, or probably even dating them for that long so why risk hurting myself. This summer I finally decided to take a risk and talk to this guy that I met briefly at school. We immediately hit it off, and kept in close contact the two weeks I went away on vacation. I was so thrilled and excited and ready to take a risk and let myself get hurt because I thought this time would be worth it and maybe I wouldn't get hurt for awhile or maybe not at all. I came back from my trip and immediately went out with him.

It was the best date i'd ever been on, I felt comfortable with him and wasn't scared or nervous about what was going to happen. After the date I was flooded with so many emotions I had never felt before, I was nervous and excited in a good way and couldn't wait to see him again. However, after the date all contact between us was forced and it seemed like he was blowing me off. I was completely flabbergasted, how could he be blowing me off after we talked everyday for two weeks and had this incredible date? Am I young and naive in thinking it was more than it really was? I tried to keep in contact because I didn't want this one to get away, I had let him in unlike anyone else before and didn't want to let him go.

It's been a couple weeks, we have barely spoken and any communicating is contrived and strange. I have given up, if he doesn't want to speak to me why should I speak to him? Any courage that I gained from the beginning of this relationship I have lost completely. I can't help but think, how is this fair? I actually risked my feelings for this person and where was my reward? Finally I am the one who tried my hardest to make it work, and I end up the one alone. Any hope that I have left for love is almost gone. Friends keep telling me that one day I'll find someone. Some how I don't believe it. Not everyone falls in love, not everyone gets married, who is to say that it'll ever happen for me? I was once told that if I want it to happen for me it will. But how can it when I try so hard to make it happen and it still doesn't?

I'm trying to remain confident and hopeful because the idea of love is all that keeps me going, I'm holding onto the idea of love being bigger than anything in the whole world and that it will completely change my life. But at the same time the thought of it barely slipping out of my grasp hurts so badly. Love to me is like a double edged sword and I am constantly wondering if it is worth it.

- S

recipe: banana cream pie

I made this amazing pie last week! I've been trying to find this banana cream pie recipe that I made when I was in high school and I thought I found it! While it wasn't the same, it was maybe even better! If you're a fan of bananas, vanilla pudding and graham cracker crust you must try this! The thing I love about the crust is that it has a slightly chewy texture because of the little bit of mashed bananas added in. I also added a layer of whipped cream on top! You can find the recipe here!
Make it, eat it, and then tell me about it!

I hope you all have a wonderfully sweet weekend!
I'm so excited because Elizabeth got into town today and we're going to do a Sushi Cooking Class with Hanna tonight. I think it's going to be a lot of fun and I'll definitely let you know how it goes!

Robin and the 63 Canada to Sturgis and back

My good buddy Robin from Saskatchewan Canada rode the 1963 Pan I built for him from the north of Canada down to Sturgis and back she treated him right. Glad to see you are havin fun buddy. You sure make her look little. Love Jeremiah

stealing kisses


look book: calling in the troops

I am so excited about this green military jacket I got the other week! I got it at H&M and I know it's going to be a staple in my fall wardrobe. I love the length and how it's still fitted. It also has a cute belt for when it gets cold. I have so many ideas for how I want to wear it. yay for inspiration!

skirt ├ílainn • bella, tank Urban, jacket H&M, shoes Jeffrey Campbell with socks!

On Saturday night Matthew and I had a triple date with his brother and his best friend. It was fun to go out to dinner in a group and talk! We went to this really cute restaurant in San Diego's North Park called Urban Solace. They had such a great menu and Matthew and I shared a Grilled Four Cheese Sandwich with fresh basil and tomato and a creamy tomato-fennel soup and The “Original” Watermelon/Tomato/Cucumber Salad with pine nuts, feta, currants and a pomegranate vinaigrette. Seriously delicious! And it was so fun to sit outside.

by accident


To put it plainly.... I'm in love with my best friend....NOW lemme explain. I'd like to call this piece.... I TEXT MY BEST FRIEND I LIKE BY ACCiDENT!

So we met briefly 2 years ago when i was about 16 going on 17 because he was my bestfriend's boyfriend's bestfriend (confusing I know). First appearances, he was cute and he was the kinda guy that would listen to you when you spoke.... Very attentive. So I decided to call him up more and start talking to him properly. I eventually told him I liked him, but that didn't go very well because he didn't reply..... he apparently didn't know what to say. It was really weird for a few weeks because we had the same circle of friends and he would act really awkward when we all got together. Like he would give everyone a hug except me... As if I had a disease or something (very childish). But this childish acts became the basis of our best friendship.

Wait there's more..... So the tables turned after a few months he started calling me, and properly explained why he never gave me a proper answer. He said he wasn't in the 'right head space with girls and wasn't really one to show emotion' so I accepted his 'apology', and from on we started talkin about anything and everything. We'd talk almost everyday, we were so close, after a while I didn't even see him as someone I could be initmate with. Whenever I was upset he was always there and whenever he was upset I ALWAYS seemed to be there, come rain or shine. Sometimes He'd be the causes of all my anger but I knew the good and bad stuff, and that's what made me love him more... As a friend. He called me, out of all our friends 'the one he could talk to'.

Life was great, we drifted apart for a while due to busy schedules and stuff but we loved each other too much to let that get in the way....
We got really close and when we chilled with our friends he would say stuff aloud like 'i want her to have my babies' or say 'i love her' out loud which was embarrassing, he'd hold my hand in public and try and kiss me (only on the cheek) but he'd do it in a way that it would look like a public display of affection, he'll say nice things about the way i look and say like 'she's sexy', and all my friends say he treats me different to the rest of the girls around us, (so much for sending mixed signals ah!).
But I used to think nothing of it... I just used to think I'm just his substitute for a girlfriend. Of course it was bad, but I liked it. I liked feeling loved, and not that I needed to feel loved.... I just wanted some attention, you know?
So recently I started liking another guy he made me happy, laughed so much when I was with him, he ticked all my boxes. But i realised i was forcing myself to like this guy. Whenever i thought about things that made me happy and who would make me happy i thought of my best friend. I'm not particularly a girl who Thinks about relationships alot. So when I started thinking about him again 2 years later in that way, i started to feel scared about all the emotions coming back.
So I thought one day I'd be just as brave as I was two years ago and tell him I liked him just start a text to make me feel better.... 'i think I like you' BUT MY I PHONE SENT BY ACCIDENT!!!!
2 days later.... No reply! So I decided to text him the full text. I thought I might as well go for it now! I text him how I liked him and it was only recently that it has started, I basically poured out my heart on a plate for him to eat. 3 days later.... No reply!
My friends saw him at a party and he showed them the text (as if they wouldn't know already) and asked them what he should do. They replied 'just talk to her' he replied 'he doesn't want to say anything because he didn't know what to say'.
After a week I couldn't take the heartache of not talking to my one of my best friend. It may seem crazy but I didn't care that he didn't like me, I just cared if he still loved me as a friend. So I text him and said 'can we just forget about this now, I just wana be us again... I just want to be your friend again'.

ITS BEEN THREE DAYS and he hasn't text back.:(
I'm just disappointed in him, because he couldn't even reply back to the one about us being friends. I'm so torn inside. I'm always goin out of my way to help him through any situation he goes through, and this is my payback. I think he's being a coward. We are a lot more grown than the first time this happened.

And why is it me doing all the chasing? I think it's time for me to take a step back. I don't actually want to let go of this love. It's a nice love.... Makes you feel warm inside. But this no replies business, makes feel he's selfish and not the person i was friends with, or even liked.

I love someone who might not love me back. If he doesn't like me I've come to the conclusion he needs to stop playin mind games with me and just tell me straight. What is going on with us?

I'm in love with my best friend.....

walking around seaport village

Before Matthew and I headed back up to LA we stopped by Seaport Village, this really cute area in San Diego. The sun was shining, people were flying kites, shopping, eating yummy treats, and talking to parrots! I wish we could have spent more time there, and maybe had a picnic, but we had to start the drive back. {For not being too far away traffic can be horrible!} Still, it was fun to walk around and see what this place is all about.

shirt H&M, shorts Forever 21, yellow woven flats Urban Outfitters, purse Coach

I'm looking forward to our next trip back! Now that the weather is heating up, and there are predictions for a very warm September and October, we can finally get our surf lessons on! It was on my list of New Year's Resolutions, remember?