the style list.

Hanna and I went to this really fun event last night at The Beverly Center. We sat for a fashion show {totally re-established by goal to go to Fashion Week one day} and Nick Verreos from Project Runway Season 2 hosted, and Rachel Pally, Corey Lynn Calter, Daniella Clarke from Frankie B. Jeans were on the style panel. I absolutley love Rachel Pally's line and it was so cool because afterwards Hanna and I went up to talk to her. She is so sweet and drop dead gorgeous! She looks like she's in her young 20s and has amazing skin. Also Nick Verreos was hilarious!

He looks so serious here but I promise he was all smiles!
After the event we went to Estee Lauder to get our free lipstick {!!} and one of the artists offered to do "touch ups." The touch ups turned into full on makeup applications and took over an hour for the both of us. It was fun but I'm definitely not used to wearing such heavy makeup.

Our makeup artist Robert!

tunic Urban Outfitters {so old}, shiny leggings American Apparel, booties Mary Kyri, belt Atlantis Vintage

The night was SO much fun! I love fashion events and I love hanging out with my bestie Hanna! Isn't she gorgeous? Someone thought we were sisters and that totally made me happy!

I know it may sound a little superficial but I really needed a night like tonight. I felt so much better about things and myself. And I'm still running on a happy high, if you can't tell! This past week I've been feeling so down and I can pinpoint it to SO many things. For one, I've been so busy even though I'm not really working. I don't feel like I have enough time in the day to get everything done. I'm stressed about an application for a teaching credential program. I'm also feeling depressed that I graduated from college almost one year ago! and don't feel like I've accomplished anything. And I've had less time to blog and visit blogs and that's been getting me down too. You all are so wonderful and supportive and I do my best to keep updated with everything you're doing. I promise I'll be better. Tomorrow I'm going to catch up I swear!

Any big plans for the weekend? Lizzie, Hanna and I are having a couple night on Saturday with the boyfriends. Not sure if I told Matthew yet..oopsie!

Love you all!

a cycle

soul mates


We first met when I was 14.

I was crossing the road, and you saw me.

You told your brother to stop the car, right there, in the middle of the road, came down, looked at me, smiled, gave me your card and said "Call me".

I wanted to, but I didn't.

The second time we met, was when I was 15.

I was with my cousins that day, watching the squatter houses getting torn down, and you were there.

You stood on the huge rock, and looked down at me.

I felt someone staring at me, so I turned to look.. and there you were, smiling at me but I looked away.

When I was about to leave, I saw you walking my way, but then the fireman that was there, came over to talk to me just a few seconds before you.. you looked at me, turned and left.

A few months later, we spoke for the very first time.

Yes, I decided to call you and our conversation lasted 2 hours.

We told each other our likes, dislikes, and found out that we had a lot in common.

The next week, I was walking back home, and I saw you on your scooter. With a girl. And you were holding her hand so tightly, it was as though you were never going to let go.

I reached home... sat down.. and all of a sudden...pain rushed through my entire body.. but I didn't cry.. all I could do was think to myself, why does this hurt so much? why did seeing him on his scooter with a girl hurt me so badly? why?

Then I realized.

Even after the first time we met, when you gave me your card, i couldn't stop thinking of you, and that smile of yours.

Did I fall in love? Maybe.

After that day, I saw you with her, everyday and so, I did what was best. I moved on.

5 years went by without thinking of you. I literally managed to block you out of my mind and my life, and life, was going pretty swell for me.

College started, new friends were made, and a loving boyfriend of 3 years was in my life. Life was a bliss.

Semester break came along, and I decided to head home for the month.. and one day, during a walk, I saw you... and you saw me.. you ran across the road and said "Hi!".. all i could do was smile.

Why couldn't I just turn and walk away? It was like my feet were glued to the ground the minute you smiled.

You asked how I was, and I said great.

The next question was "Boyfriend?" I answered "Yes".. you said "Oh" and walked away like you did everytime you heard something you didn't like.

I called out to you and said we can be friends and you smiled and agreed.

We started hanging out a lot. Movies, drinks, surfing, live band shows. You called me up one evening and said to come over to the usual place. i told you I'd be there in 10.

When i arrived, you were up on stage.. That was a normal thing, since you were in a band. You sang Faithfully by Journey and at the end, you said that it was for me.

I froze.

What were you thinking?

what was I thinking?

I had a boyfriend.

Then I snapped back to my reality.

What was happening?

We said we'd be friends. But.. did something happen along the way?

When I woke up that night, I found you next to me. I got out of bed, on to the balcony, and had a cigarette. Shit. I had done something I swore never to do. cheat. Then you came out, and we had a huge argument. the next thing you did, made me blow up.

You called my boyfriend. and told him everything.

He left me. I left you. you sent me a text saying "I hate you", i replied with "Thank you for coming into my life and ruining everything and for making me so blinded that I actually slept with you"

I never heard from you again.

All I could think of after that was what the hell was i thinking? What in the world made me sleep with you? why did I throw away a perfectly good relationship for you? but I didn't put the blame on you. I blamed myself. for being so stupid.

10 years after that day, i'm happily married, with a beautiful daughter, and by the power of facebook, you found me. I accepted your friend request and then while chatting one day, you asked me, what happened to us.

You told me you never forgot me, how my hair smelt after being washed, how I laughed, how I made you happy, how you felt complete when I was next to you.

i told you I never forgot you either. especially your smile.

You said let's run away together. I said no. you're married. I'm married. that's the way it should be.

you said it wasn't.

you said we were soul-mates.

All i said was

"We are soul-mates that weren't meant to end up together. If we had started at the very beginning, we might have been together for a lifetime"

you said maybe in our next lifetime.

i told you that in our next lifetime, when you stop the car in the middle of the road, don't give me your card. just say "Will you be mine".

You agreed but said "I'll just say Will you marry me"

We laughed.

Yes. we are soul-mates, we're not together, but we never forgot one another.

look book: le carnival

There were two major highlights this past weekend. The first was that it was our church's festival. It's something I look forward to every year! In high school my best friend Lizzie and I worked one of the booths and I remember our parents dropping us off, with a curfew. Pre-driving obviously!

So over the weekend Matthew and I went to have some good, old fashioned fun. It just so happened that the game Lizzie and I used to work, Water Gun Fun, needed an extra player. Everyone convinced Matthew to play and he said, "I'm warning you I'm in it to win it!" And surprise surprise he won! He won me a cute lion and it was very old school and romantic!

I wore this romper that I got the other weekend at Marshalls. I love the floral print and I thought it was perfect to wear to the carnival..especially with my little red peep toes wedges! {I think I was trying to channel my inner Allie from The Notebook}

romper Marshalls, shoes Steve Madden, necklace vintage, bag Forever 21

So, the other major highlight from this weekend was that on Friday night Matthew and I saw Jim Carrey. Yes, celebrity, actor, funny man, idol. So we were leaving our favorite sushi restaurant and waiting at the valet. There was a big black Escalade waiting and then all of a sudden Jim Carrey hopped into the backseat and a woman {probably his publicist} got in the front seat. I was so shocked and excited and Matthew said he had seen him sitting across from us at dinner but didn't want to tell me! Gah what did he think I was going to make a scene?! I wouldn't I swear! So then things got a whole lot better when Jim Carrey rolled down the darkly tinted window and said, "You two should get married. Like immediately." It was the coolest thing ever!! Yes, very random but still amazing! I mean with his approval who cares about mom and dad's?! {just kidding, I do!} This seriously made my night, weekend, probably whole week!


what is love?


I have been in and out of relationships since I was 15 years old. Whether they lasted a year, a few months, or 3 years I have experienced all different kinds of relationships. My first boyfriend,
cared about me a lot and I could care less about him. My second boyfriend, my first love, the person I lost my virginity too, who cared about me as much as I cared about him but in the end it just didn’t work out. My third boyfriend was my best friend since 5th grade and I was the one that cared a lot more than he did me. After that things start to get blurry. I was with guys for a few months at a time and now I’ve realized that I don’t know the difference between
lust and love. How I feel is different than what makes sense logically. My head and my heart can never seem to come to an agreement. When I ask married women how they knew their husbands were the one, they all come up with the same answer, “You’ll just know, you’ll feel it.” Well thank you for that answer, however it doesn’t do me any good. What does that mean? I find myself thinking about my feelings and my thoughts on love constantly. It consumes 95% of my thoughts and about 50% of my time. It’s something that people have constantly wrote about, talked about, and dreamed about so why is it that no one has the same answer let alone the correct answer? It’s something that people will continue to try to figure out and I just hope that in this lifetime I will experience it and hold on to it forever. I will continue to jump from relationship to relationship trying to figure out what it all means and if anyone has the slightest idea what Love is, True love, if there is such a thing please inform me.

point loma.

The last time Matthew and I were in San Diego he took me to Point Loma..which is this really lovely seaside community. There's a campus there and I'm jealous of all the lucky ducks who can walk down to the beach from their dorms! How awesome would that be?!

It was National Parks Week so we had free access to the Cabrillo Monument and it was so pretty walking around. The views were incredible and I loved seeing the old and new lighthouses. San Diego is such a pretty city. It's full of so many wonderful places and I love being able to explore it with Matthew..especially since he grew up there.

Although it was a little bit cold the water looked beautiful. I can't wait to spend weekends swimming and sailing in San Diego this summer!


when someone knows

tfs + tumblr

1976 FXE for sale

1976 FXE for sale this mother is real sweet also another one owner bike. It is all stock and has never been molested, she runs like a top and is ready for a new home contact if interested.


This is a sweet all stock 1975 FLH Harley Davidson she has never been messed with and is a one owner bike. She runs like a top and comes with extras like big hard bags and solo seat. She is ready to hit the road Contact me if interested

diy: t-shirt necklace

The other day I was watching Martha Stewart and I was inspired by her recycled crafting of a T-shirt. She made a t-shirt necklace that was pretty similar to this. I just added some twists to make it a little more fun! This is also perfect for a belated {by a day} Earth Day Project!

T-Shirt Necklace How-To

1. Lay the shirt on a flat surface; cut off the hem and discard. Then cut the body of the shirt horizontally into strips approximately 3/4 of an inch long. (They will actually be loops.)

** Ideally an exacto knife would make clean strips but don't worry about this too much {I did!} because when you stretch them the uneven parts don't show.

2. One at a time, pull the loops open and stretch until the fabric starts to curl. Stack the loops on top of one another so that all the T-shirt side seams are in the same spot.

** I twisted the front strips into spirals. You could always add leather strips, beads, or other necklaces to this!

3. Once you have the thickness you desire, wrap the seams with a scrap piece of fabric (about 6 inches long) from the same shirt. Tuck the end of the scrap under itself.

Next time I'll try some different colored t-shirts. I think it will be a fun necklace to wear in the summertime!

Any fun weekend plans? I'm spending most of mine at my church's annual festival. Rides + Auctions + Cotton Candy + friends & family =!