happy new year!


may 2010 bring you all you wish for and more!!!

you're in my head


bye oh nine

It's kind of crazy that the year is almost over! It was long but lots of fun things happened. Here are  
9 highlights from '09!

1) In January I got bangs..first time since I was a little girl.

{my roommate Mallory}
2) My best friend Elizabeth visited me in February and we had a fun weekend in Berkeley and SF.

3) Matthew and I celebrated our 1 year anniversary and went to Hawaii in March! It was my first time going and we had such a great time! Although neither of us got tan!

4) I graduated from college in May! While I'm happy to be moving onto the next chapter in my life it still feels a bit strange to be done with it all.

5) In June I celebrated my 22nd birthday. Matthew took me to the Monterey Bay Aquarium.

6) I started this blog in August as a way to make the long distance relationship more bearable.
7) A couple months later in October Matthew moved down here! And right down the street!

8) In November some of my short articles were published in the magazine I work for!
9) Tomorrow night Matthew and I will be closing the New Year together! And having our first New Year's kiss! Last year I was sick in bed! {Actually the past two years I was sick..keeping my fingers crossed I'll be fine tomorrow!}

Have a safe and happy New Years!


dog bone party

A couple more sets of vintage dog bones a 4 inch set and a 6 inch set. Both 1 inch and ready to run..

i would rather be alone


This was written a year ago, but I still fight with myself: Love, or no love? Destroy myself, or fix it?

I have never known love.
I have never been held by somebody who said
“We fit together”.
There has never been another
And that is fine.
I can’t live up to someone’s standards
And I can’t give more than I can take
Of my heart to only one.
There isn’t a part of me
That I can let ache
Because I need him by me.
It means I'm not sure I can be faithful.
I can’t give up drinking, and messing myself up,
Until I am tangled and bent.
It is my art, and it is an instinct
To remain convoluted and tormented.
It’s not a burden I can lay on someone without guilt.
Everyone is shallow to some extent,
And unless he is beautiful superficially,
I won’t be able to step out holding his hand.
Walk, head held high,
Telling the crowd that yes, he is mine
And I am his.
There are parts of me I love,
Slender ankles, fragile eyes,
But too many that I hate.
So it is impossible to believe someone
Who tells me that I am deadly
Until those parts are blotted out, fixed.
I will continue to deal with anorexia and depression,
States that will always threaten to asphyxiate me
And I understand these are things that most people can’t understand.
This sort of continual struggle
Which I let creep beneath my thoughts
Every single fucking day.
Parts of me that are locked away,
Quietly pushed to the furthest corners
Under the bed
There are dreams of coffee in the morning,
Cigarettes after sex,
Fingers down my back,
And falling asleep on his lap.
But I am unsure of what to say, and how to act
So he won’t feel oppressed or worse
I swing between extremes,
And there is no in between.
I live explosively, and that’s not something
Easily accepted.
Terrified of all these rules and warnings
And reining back,
I would rather be alone.

-i'd like to remain anonymous.

Parts blowout

Alright dudes lots of good stuff for sale today first off some super nice 4" flanders brass risers these are original with the little stamp SOLD. Second a real nice set of 4" vintage patinaed chrome dog bones made of brass SOLD. 3rd a flanders offset top clamp SOLD and a inline harley top clamp with 1 inch bars welded to the ends. SOLD 5th a super nice 16" chrome star hub with a brand new 16 x 5 firestone tire. And 6th a 18x3.5 firestone tire new SOLD. Oh yeah also a really nice 58 - 67 round swing arm with a little bit of patina.Email or call if interested or need more pics

the fab four

Over the weekend I got together with my best friends. This is my little group. These girls know me pretty well and have seen me through a lot! I've known Hanna since middle school and Elizabeth and I have been bffs since Sunday School! Pauline joined our group in high school and we're all really close since then. Every Christmas we have a special tradition to go to Mi Piace in Pasadena, order the butternut squash and ricotta ravioli with brown butter and sage sauce and catch up! Now we can add drinks to the mix!

Hanna's boyfriend Todd crashed the party!

Seriously love these girls! Hanna and I are currently the only two in LA. Pauline is finishing up at Long Beach and Elizabeth is working hard in San Diego. I so look forward to get togethers with these beautiful girls. They're always full of lots of laughter and crazyness!


eaten alive by it

just bears + adorechic

show and tell: christmas

I had such a lovely little Christmas with my family. We had family friends over for a Christmas dinner. It was all vegetarian {and delicious!}. We talked about some current events {Woods to Murphy}, how I was kinda hoping for a puppy under the tree {even though apparently Christmas is the worst time because of over-breeding}, and how my family is getting hooked on Dexter. We started Season 1 last week and are now 2 episodes shy of finishing Season 2. Sadly we missed out on some crucial Christmas movies this year because of that loveable serial killer!

Matthew and I had a budget for Christmas presents this year..but I think I was the only one who stuck to it! He gave me this beautiful vintage silver cuff, a pretty ring, and a GPS for my car. I was really excited. I'll take some pictures this week of the jewelry actually on!

For him, I framed these two illustrations of San Francisco {one of the Bay Bridge from Berkeley to SF--like all our dates! and the second of Alamo Square, where the Full House house is--I think we had our first real kiss there!}. I also made him a hook for his keys. I bought a letter G {for his last name}, painted it a dark red and put 3 gold hooks in. Because I thought these might not be the most exciting things I got him a shirt from Urban. Hopefully he liked it!

I hope all of you had a magical little Christmas! I'm taking the week off.. so excited!

merry christmas.

Merry Christmas Eve!

I hope all of you are having a wonderful night and are enjoying being with your sweet families. Matthew left this afternoon to see his family in San Diego. It's funny how I can miss him already. I'm definitely looking forward to the day where we can spend our Christmas's together {!}

This time of year is my favorite. While it may be cold outside there's so just so much warmth and love around. I'm definitely counting my blessings this Christmas and I'm thinking of all my beautiful and sweet followers. I'm wishing you the merriest Christmas ever!

{Sugar cookies decorated by the boyfriend!}

Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night!


i dream of you sometimes…


I dream of you sometimes
Yearning for your image to exist outside my mind
Hoping that it will only be a matter of time
Before we meet and allow our eyes to speak
Knowing more then what our eyes can see
Patiently waiting to begin our destiny
This is where my soul will lead
Letting go of the thoughts of your physique
So that I can see through
Wanting to explore
Deep into the truth
Knowing that you are because he already knew
That I was the rib to fit inside of you
No other will ever do
See we never had to choose
He never asked us to
He just wanted us to trust and believe
That I'm for you and you're for me
I'm just waiting for this to be
A sudden sigh
As I drift off to sleep
Dwelling in my unconscious mind
I dream of you sometimes…


meet miss nora

This is Nora. Nora is one of my oldest and closest friends. She's actually more like family. Our parents have known each other forever so growing up we always hung out and played together. Now she's 21, a student at Sarah Lawrence in New York and she just got back from a semester in London. It was so great to see her at dinner the other night! I was stalking her Facebook {hehe} and I just love these pictures of her.

Isn't she beautiful?

In other news, Christmas shopping is DONE! Woo hoo! I braced the mall for the last time today and I finally figured out a gift for that impossible-to-shop-for boyfriend of mine! So now I'm excited to spend the rest of the afternoon wrapping presents and watching Christmas movies!

Is everyone ready for Santa to come?


i dreamed about her all night.


i met her in a kitchen, she was visiting a friend of mine. my sunny california.
they had been friends since they were 6 and were both far from home. i often think about destiny, if it even matters.
things that happens happens, we meet the people we meet.
and i met her that evening.

a few hours later we were getting ready for a night out on the town. we were almost 10 people who were going out and she was one of them.

there were no delayed glances, no glitter or fireworks. i dont know if i even looked at her during the evening.
we took the train to town and she ended up sitting next to me.
' i heard you just broke up with your girlfriend, so you are into girls? ' she asked.
i nervously started to separate my curls with my fingers.
she held my arm when we were walking to the club, danced beside me, sat beside me on the way home.
i didn't really think of it so much.

03.00 in the morning. I hear her steps in the corridor, she just wanted to say good night. her smile lights up the corridor.

12.00, she knocks on the door. wants me to join for breakfast.
she eats noodles in a cup and it makes me laugh, she wears knitted clothes and curls up in the sofa. she listens and answers, i smile and laugh.
her eyes is like burned almond, her skin is like whipped cream. when she speaks it's like vanilla for my ears, strawberries for my tongue.
i dreamed about her all night.

16.30 the day after she takes the flight back to manchester. we didn't even say goodbye.
' that just means that you have to visit me in california soon ' she says.
i set my clock to london-time and wonders if this is how it should feel.


surprise date: ice skating!

On Friday night Matthew took me on a surprise date. We went "ice skating" in Santa Monica and it's in quotes because a). It's California ice skating..not real and b). We both pretty much sucked. Matthew tried to skate backwards and do some fancy moves but he ended up hurting himself and I pretty much wouldn't let go of the rail! It was a lot of fun though and I got to live out my childhood fantasy of being a professional ice skater {minus the confidence and sparkly outfit}!


oh hi Christmas tree

I was planning on saying this is the closest Matthew and I will get to snow this year..but then I found out Matthew is going to New York in January. And guess who he's bring along?! ME! So perhaps there will be some snow in New York. I am so excited because I haven't been to NYC since I was 14 years old {so long ago!}. I'm excited to see one of my favorite cities with the man I love and even if it's not during the romantic holiday time it will still be special!
Look at those itty bitty trees..so cute! Matthew and I picked out a pretty cute one, strapped it to the top of his tiny car and moved it in his apartment. It was so light I didn't even have to help! Woo hoo for holiday spirit!

trapped inside my brain


I have never tasted love.

I have never been blessed with the true feeling of love. I've always felt like an outcast in that way. Placed beside the world of loving individuals. Like it's not meant for me. You see, I'm a dreamer. And in my dreams I'm head over hills in love and it's mutual. Unfortunately, this makes me an observer. I observe everything and everyone around me, and the importance of my own actions fails. It's like I'm trapped inside my brain and completely unable to... do life. I think I'm in love with the thought of being in love, how cliché it may sound. And I don't want to wait forever. Maybe I'm just gonna have to accept it. Maybe there is this insignificant number of all the billion people on earth, who just aren't supposed to fall in love...


14 over springer for sale

SOLD....Here is a super nice springer that is 14 over and it is 4 3/4 wide it has a little rust but it will look amazin on your period perfect chopper the rockers are 5/8 give me a ring or email if you want it 6023322971 or pies_sucios@hotmail.com