Cheap Date

Hanna has been one of my bestest and closest friends since 6th grade. We went to elementary school and high school together, played soccer and fell in loveee. Tonight we had a great cheap date. We saw THE PROPOSAL for$2. Yep, that's right, two bucks! Accidentally (but fortunately) found the cheapest theater near my job in Old Town Pasadena. The movie was so cute and funny. I didn't expect to like it as much as I did. Then we split a salad and appetizer for less than $15 each and topped it off with some yummy 21 Choices (conveniently next to Forever 21 but unfortunatley closed). Then while talking about the scary current events (fires, kidnapping, and deaths) we were hit up for money and then "love and comfort." Yeah the weirdest things happen. But I love this girl.
last summer in Vegas (bc this summer's pic isn't as good)
Winter 2006 (because the 6th grade pic isn't as good!)



trying to forget you

Things I loved about you

The way you stared at me when I close my eyes, then you closed your eyes and I stared at you

How perfectly your hand fit in mine

How you seemed so strong on the outside, but I could tell you were so sweet on the inside

The way you said I love you, because you sounded so shy

How during that first time we were alone, when we held hands and talked for hours and finally kissed after so long

How you were so interested in my life and what I was doing

How you remembered everything I said to you perfectly

When you texted me randomly (as little as that may be)

When you told me I’m one of the most perfect girls you’ve ever met

How you were too shy to hold my hand, in case I didn’t want you to

The awkward moments - because they weren’t really awkward at all

Sitting at the table with your family and enjoying myself and you

Taking photo booth pictures with you and you made the best faces I’ve ever seen

Getting high together and making weird animal sounds as we walked back to your house

The way you made me feel after we made out for an hour

How you told me I looked great every time we saw each other - despite how untrue I thought it was

How I sat on your lap when we went on the computer together, and your legs fell asleep but you didn’t care, as long as I was sitting that close to you

How even on the coldest nights, you lent me your sweater

How much you have passions for things

Your laugh/smile

How you always made fun of me - I secretly loved it

What a loser you are, because I am too

How you admitted defeat and say sorry when I wouldn’t let you win a fight

The way you made the butterflies in my stomach flutter every time I saw your smile

How much you made me love you.

But now they are things of the past, since we broke up. I’m slowly getting over every one of these ways I loved you by replacing them with things I don’t like about you. I don’t think it’s working too well, though, because I know they will each still be in the back of my head because you were my first love and I will never forget you or a single thing that I loved about you. And truthfully, I still love most of those things. I’ll miss every one of them.

-anonymous submission

Ready or Not

Can you believe summer is practically over? Seriously where did these past few months go? Unfortunately not much is going on for me this weekend. Possible some shopping, maybe some baking, definitely some studying. The fires in San Gabriel Valley have been awful. I can see the flames from work and the air quality is just horrible. Thank god for the firefighters! Hopefully it will be better soon.

Happy weekend everyone! Hope your plans are more exciting than mine!

you can work through a crisis

Juan Felipe Rubio

an anonymous email sent to me... i know that this is a controversial topic and am curious to hear what you all think about second chances:

dear lelove,

i want to tell you my story about love. it began in may the previous year, when i had a fling with a friend's older brother. at the time, i was so scared of commitment, that i ended it after a short while. i did not have a good explanation for doing this, and it was very sudden. we did not talk for all summer. when summer was gone, i heard he had gotten a new girlfriend. i was happy for him, as i just wanted to be friends with him, and a while later i contacted him so we could become friends again. the next half year we got closer and closer as friends, and i started to consider him my best friend, with whom i could share anything. but when winter was arriving i realized that my earlier feelings for him were coming back. of course, i did not tell him, as he was not available, but i am sure that we both felt a tension between us, a tension which we could not further explore due to his relationship.

suddenly, one day, when we were hanging out, he blurted out that he and his girlfriend had broken up that day. i was in one way shocked, as i had the assumption that their relationship was perfect, but also relieved, as we now did not have to suppress our emotions anymore. a few days later, on my birthday, i went to his house to be with him. at the moment he opened the door, we started kissing, and one thing led to another. after a while, our relationship grew and became known to our friends and family. everything was going great, until one day, i got my acceptance letter from the school i wanted to get into. The problem: it was in another country.

our relationship continued, but one day, a few months after i got the letter, he revealed to me that he had been unfaithful with two girls i knew. it was only once, and they did not go all the way, but i still felt it as a backstabbing and was very hurt. yet still, i did not break up with him, as i was still very much in love with him.

i am currently packing for traveling to the school which i was accepted to, and also working my way through the "crisis" in our relationship. i had always thought that if my boyfriend cheated on me, i would break up at once. but i gave him another chance, and i am learning to trust him again. and that is why i wrote to le love. to show people that even though your world seems to have collapsed. and you can work through a crisis. and most of all: i do believe that everybody deserves a second chance.

- anonymous

missing 2409

Today is Wednesday, but not just any Wednesday. It's the first day of school at Berkeley. But I'm not there. It feels so strange to not be going back and I miss all my girls up there. It seems like so long ago since I was there, running around Berkeley with them, and being little sillies.
headbangers ball..finally
one of the last nights with our babies
and now we're grads

mal & me, beginning of Fall '08

When am I going to get used to the idea of growing up? I'm ready to be a big kid but I still miss college. Pathetic? No. Understandable.

those stupid butterflies

I hate how sometimes my nerves get the best of me. I had a job interview today for an internship that I really really want (I don't want to jinx it with the details). I'm just hoping that I came across the right way. Sometimes when I get nervous I talk too much..or too fast. It's hard though and I just hope it will get easier with time and more interviewing experiences. I was seriously sitting in the office, literally feeling my heart beat like crazy, and telling myself to take deep breaths and count to three. I just need to not overthink it, and be confident in myself. So, we'll see. Matthew was trying to calm me down and give me an extra confidence boost beforehand. It was a sweet effort and I'll admit it did help a little bit (which says a lot). It reminded me of how nervous I was on my first date with Matthew. And now I don't get nervous at all (just excited). But I was so nervous on our coffee date. I couldn't sit still, I kept re-evaluating my outfit. It was hectic but worth it. And it all worked out. So hopefully this interview will also!

i want to...


അന്ദ്രീസ് ശോവേല്‍ ഫ്രം Luxemburg

Andrea sent me this killer pic of his shovelhead, I cant wait for him to see his new pan I will post some pics in a couple days. I am back I have been workin lke a mule and ready for a little break



i have been struggling for four years what some people struggle their entire lives with, being in love with someone you cant seem to be with. I have come to realize in these past four years, that love is not as hard as some people make it to be. When you are in the infinite state of infatuation, a feeling no word or emotion could ever come close to describing, you feel as though this life is worth living. And when you lose it, its unreal. Its a pain i cant describe. Every muscle in my body tenses and my heart pounds so hard i feel like it will kill me. The thing i have learned most, is that this pain proves to me that my heart and felt a happiness i may never feel again. I now know from my suffering that the time period in which i did feel this happiness was worth it. There are few moments in life in which i believe we find true happiness, a moment in which everything stands still and every emotion thought or worry is gone, and your a single soul floating in a world of ecstasy. Its a feeling i wouldnt trade for anything. There is no real conclusion to this, because its undescribable. I do know, that this pain i have felt, this feeling of hopelessness only shows me, i did once fall in love. And every ounce of faith in me, is devoted to the thought of reliving the happiness. I will always have hope.


When I think about you not being here with me (I actually think about you all the time), it makes me sick to my stomach. I miss you so much it physically hurts. Whenever I talk about you, I feel a knot in my throat. I can't picture myself with anyone but you. And time goes by and does it's cray thing but, how I feel doesn't change, it never goes away, even when I hate you for leaving me, for not loving me enough, it doesn't weather. How I cried myself to sleep wishing I could feel you close to me one more time. How I wish I could just stop feeling because it hurts so much. I want to move on, I want to walk away and just remember you every now and then as someone I was fond of. I'm tired and frustrated because I don't understand you, I don't know what it is that you want or feel... sometimes I think you don't even know that yourself. I can go and conquer the world and make my wildest dreams come true but, in the end you are not here. I feel as if I lost a part of me, you took and I want it back. I play it cool, I cry when no one sees me, I dream of you. I'm in hell.


making it worth it

Some of my least favorite things:
Sitting in traffic when you're the anxious person I am
Having a song or word in my mind that I can't remember the name of
Getting a cold that lasts a little too long (yes, the sinusitis is still causing trouble)
Feeling sad about growing up and the uncertainty of what I'm going to do with my life
Saying goodbye to you.

Matthew, thank you for another amazing weekend. I wish you didn't have to go. But I love you so much for driving down to be with me and my crazy family. Thanks for bringing me cupcakes to work (even though they were from the competitor of my favorite shop). Thank you for going to the Dodger game with me (even though you hate baseball). Thank you for interview drivebys, shoe shopping advice, too much Mexican food, Oreo cheesecake, dealing with the red lipstick and for kissing me anyways. You're my favorite for so many reasons and you make all the small things worth it.

learn to say "i love you"



another great e-mail:

My life has been short but I have already learned quite a bit about love... Not through personal experience, but more through seeing others I know love. Some love and lose, some lose someone they might have loved and luckily some love each other forever. I think about that one or many loves constantly, always hoping I don't miss my chance. My fear of never finding that love has made me create an unattainable goal in my head: find the perfect guy you will find the perfect relationship and you will get the perfect life. That whole scenario is what I've been looking for.

But I have realized That kind of perfectness does not exist in a person. It exists in a connection, a relationship. That is what love is. Love is that person who isn't necessarily perfect, but it perfect for you.

They say real love comes when you aren't searching for it. I used to think that it was absurd to say that because most everyone is searching for love; and many do find it. But of all those people I know, who I've watched love, though it may not have lasted forever, I've realized one thing. They all loved. There isn't a person I know who could end their life saying they haven't loved. The moment I realized that was the moment I stopped searching. I stopped searching for that perfect guy, for that perfect relationship, for that perfect life.

I've never been in love. But I am waiting for it. No longer searching. Waiting, because I know it will come.

midnight sparks


cupcake+coffee+lunch date+matthew=happy

What a great day! And it's only 2:30! Matthew drove down yesterday. Unfortunately his little car blew out a tire which caused significant delays. We think Rolfe is acting up because he's aware of Matthew's current search for a cheaper replacement. Nevertheless, he made it! Today we went to Father Nature near work for lunch and had a vegetarian falafal wrap. It was pretty good, not as good as the one in Paris though! ((sigh) I want to go back there) Matthew also surprised me with an iced coffee and cupcakes from the nearby bakery. sweet and delicious!

Tonight we're going to the Dodger's game (vs. the Cubs). We're not huge baseball fans but my friend Mal got us tickets from her work. And I think the seats are good + there's free parking (it's ridiculously overpriced). So that should be fun! Oh and maybe sushi for dinner! I'm excited! (can you tell?)

Happy Friday!

LDR in long distance relationship. Is it worth it? Well I think it depends. People are always asking how Matthew and I do it and it's definitely hard but we're luckier than some other LDR couples. For one we have a two week rule. Either I go up or he comes down for a weekend every two weeks (preferably less). Sometimes we can work our schedules to our benefit. Like when he worked in the LA office for a week. It was so nice to see each other every day for 9 days. But it's definitely a sacrifice.

Sure, I wish we were in the same city. But I'm looking forward to the fact that it will happen sooner rather than later. Our LDR situation is only temporary, and so right now I can handle it. If you love a person enough then you deal with what you have to. I know a lot of people who have been in long distance relationships and it hasn't worked. And it really depends on a lot of factors: whether both people are willing to sacrifice the time and put in the effort. It's hard and it definitely sucks at times but if it's the only option for right now of course I'll deal with it. I try and make it easier. We talk a lot- gchat and text throughout the day and a longer conversation at night. So while we may not see each other on a daily basis we still feel like we are in each other's lives. But, yes, I am so ready to be in the same city as him. There's a puppy in it for me too (he promised!)
aw look at that face! (Matthew's too!)

love in the first person

click the image above to view a beautiful short

there are soooo many beautiful images throughout ♥

thank you to wedding photographer stacy reeves for sending this my way!

attention le lovers:

click above to visit my new blog.
i know, i know...ANOTHER one?!
i just needed a space to throw out all the other things that inspire me:
art, quotes, home decor, funny .gifs...etc.
hope you like it!

you, always

thanks sue!

If I was there with you I would...

give you a biiiiig hug and a hollywood kiss
say "snnk snnk" a couple times
make you watch thatembarrassingshowthati'mobsessesdwith
drag you to the dog park.. or the puppy breeders
give you thatembarrassingbookthati'mobsessedwith so you can start reading it ASAP!
make you tomato soup since you've been craving it
and tell you how much I love you

But I suppose I'll have to wait until Friday for most of that. Week, hurry up already!


Where did the time go?
It feels like just yesterday that I graduated and now my friends are heading back up to Berkeley to start a new year. I've gone to school for the past 16 years and now I'm done-at least for awhile. It feels weird. Getting older is a strange feeling but I'm definitely excited about all that's to come. Right now I can look forward to seeing Matthew in four days!

certain dark things

weheartit +

le love illustrated

from the lovely anna ileby. check out her site + her blog
she doesn't know it, but i have been following her blog for over a year now, so i am super flattered! thanks anna ♥

lights: high and low

While I may seem like a complete loser for staying in on a Saturday night I swear I'm not. I'm just thinking about the best interest of my health, honest! To prove it here are some +&- of my day (to prove I wasn't a totally unproductive girl).

+ bra shopping- a necessity that I've been avoiding...bc let's face it sometimes the necessary things aren't the ones you want to splurge on
+ bought a set of Calpahlon pots and pans. Originally $630(already a discount compared to buying each individually) for...drum roll please...$150!! Amazing deal seriously! My IKEA ones were crap and one alone cost $30. This is a 12 piece set my friends and you know Williams Sonoma only stocks the best.
+ convinced my younger brother to get a haircut. It looks amazing and he promised I can come with him every time he goes now! (pictures to come)
+ chocolate mousse for dessert ala Julia Child
- spilled chocolate on my dress (lesson: don't eat while watching TV AND surfing the Internet)
- my pants aren't fitting as well bc of the new french cooking obsession
- shampoo in eyes
- mint shampoo...
+ spending time with my family. Love them lots!!

See I'm not a total loser! Maybe a little but definitely not 100%


22nd Birthday

During my 22nd birthday extravaganza weekend (June 8, 2009) we went to Monterey, CA. Here are some of the cute pictures that ensued.

working the coin machine
touching the sting ray
wave zone

scared? unlikely!

a mother's love

As many of you know, my father has been ill with cancer this year. Because of this, it has been a difficult time for me and my family. I just received this touching email and it hit very close to home. Please remember to love those in your life and acknowledge the love they give you...

My stomach flutters whenever I look through your blog. I get jealous knowing other people have someone else loving them so much. I had my trials and tribulations when it comes to love so I am very pessimistic about it. I tend to shun affection shown by other guys just because I dont want to have to go through another heartache.

One day, I sat myself down and I cried at my loneliness. How can nobody love me?
Suddenly, my mother came in and placed a cup of tonic drink in my room. Then I realised that I have been loved all my life. I just didnt acknowledge it. Any other love is nothing compared to a mother's love. MY mother's love. What is so special about my mother's love you ask? Well, she got struck with breast cancer. The whole family told her to let loose. Dont give a damn about anything. Do this for yourself. Don't worry about anything else. However, no matter how sick she is, she still shows us she loves us in the most trivial ways that we take for granted. From making sure we have breakfast ready when we wake up to making sure we have money in our bank accounts so we can have a fun time with friends. She goes through so much during chemotherapy. I accompany her after arguing with her for hours on end. She doesn't want me to come along. Why? Because she wants me to have fun with my friends. She wanted me to enjoy my youth while it lasts.

My mother has sacrificed so much for me. Before cancer hit her, everyone took her for granted. Only when we are put through tough times like these, then we count our blessings although it might be too late. So now, whenever I read your blog, I dont feel ashamed and jealous that I dont have love like that because on the contrary, I have the best love ever known to man.

A mothers love.


Random Food Writings

Well, I think I'm finally kicking this cold. I still have a stuffy nose which is pretty embarrassing to blow in public but whatever. I saw Julie and Julia yesterday with my family. It was a cute movie and my dad loved it- being the amazing cook that he is. So tonight I helped him with dinner. We made poached sole with parissiene sauce (butter, wine, fish stock, milk..I can't remember what else). It was a complicated endeavour but it was really good. And we made potato and leek soup which is amazing. I think it's probably my favorite soup. It's so comforting and creamy (it's all blended together). Sooo good! I want to make it for Matthew one day.

That's a fun thing about Matthew is that he hasn't tried a lot of the foods that I have. So it's always really cute when he tries something for the first time. Like he never had mussels until 8 months ago! But at least he's open to trying new things. I don't think I would be too happy if he was a picky eater.

One last random fact: I doodle Matthew's name in LSAT class. I feel like a 13 year old girl, even though I never used to do that! Kinda cute, kind silly. Anyways, happy Friday!

just because...



This is my boyfriend. I love him a lot. Especially when he gets me the perfect drink from Peet's!

no. i don't like you.

image: weheartit

I've been staying up all night.

I have no stories about wonderful meeting, fingers twisting my hair, hands around hips. I don't know your smell or warmth or what clothes you're wearing.
I haven't ever met you, but I think I love you.

Maybe it was good you went on vacation, because that gave me time to think about you and me. And suddenly I just realized how much I really like you.

I couldn't sleep tonight, so I started the computer. I walked with my bare feet over the cold cold floor, wearing only underwear and huge knitted cardigan.

And I wanted to write you.

Tell you how I started crying when you said you think you liked me, how I think about you every day and every hour, how happy you make me even if you don't understand, because you're simply so nice to me.
My first love was the most horrible thing that had ever happened to me.
You made me recover. When I started talking to you I forgot everything.

Do you realize how big it is?
Do you even understand how affected you can be by someone you haven't met?
And I was sitting in my loneliness, with you too many miles away, crying, scared by the thought that you share the city dreams and kisses with someone else.
I wanted to write a whole novel about it.
Everything I said was that I liked you.

I like you.

No. I don't like you.
You're the most amazing thing that has ever happened to me.

But you don't know.
You haven't even gotten my message yet.

I hope you'll go online later. So you'll see.

I'm so nervous. I couldn't sleep.

And if you do.

I'll tell you.
I love you.

// E

thanks liz for these words ♥

because I have just met the one who will take mine

photo by chris craymer- thanks vivie!

julia sent this along with a reminder to us all:

After I saw "The Boy" today, I came home and danced around my room. Maybe you wouldn't even call it dancing... flailing more like, but I did so with the widest smile on my face, Remembering everything he said to me tonight.

They were only small things, but I can tell that this is the beginning of something, and that he wants it as much as I do.

I am 15 and I just wanted to write to you to remind everyone of their first love, the excitement, the "he loves me, he loves me not" played on flowers, and everything high school about the one who took your heart first, because I have just met the one who will take mine.

thank you for this julia! it brightened up my monday ♥

should my shadow cross thy thoughts

erika sent these images with a touching story my way:

I found this photo amongst my Grandmother's things after she passed away. (I'm sorry for the poor quality - if you'd like to post it I can try and get a better image to you.) We have no idea who the man in the photo is, not even his name. But love like that, old love, is truly lovely.

The back reads:

Since we deserved the name of friends,
And thine effect so lives in me,
A part of mine may live in thee
And move thee on to noble ends.

Should my shadow cross thy thoughts,
Too sadly for their peace,
So put it back for calmer hours,
In memory's darkest hold.

I hope it touches someone like it has touched me- erika

i am thinking about you

found the attached note in her “dashboard” on her mac:

"I had no idea how long it had been there, but my incredible boyfriend had left it there waiting for a day just like yesterday, when I needed it the most. I love that man."

lol, soooo cute!