my go-to

anna szczekutowicz

We’ve been through a lot. I met you the first day of college and we quickly became the best of friends. Our budding friend group referred to us as “brother and sister,” inseparable from the start. A few months in, we realized we could be even more, and thus our relationship started. Our friendship grew right along with our relationship. We were best friends, lovers, and roommates-all in one.

Like any friendship or relationship, we had our ups and downs, but we were always together. We were there for each other through thick and thin, no matter what the issue. You went through the worst summer of your life, and I suffered right there with you-your pain was my pain, it went both ways.

It continued on for two years. Then our relationship ended so so badly-we hurt each other until there was nothing left to hurt. You said you couldn’t be with somebody who knew you so well. You wished that we had met 10 years down the road, because then you would’ve married me. That hurt and terrified me. We were both scared, falling out of (a type) of love, and we fought in circles. You unintentionally hurt me more then anybody other has, and in return I intentionally made you suffer for breaking my heart. Our two different relationships were so intertwined, our friendship greatly suffered and by the end we wanted nothing to do with each other.

Another year came along and we went our separate ways, it wasn’t always pleasant seeing each other around town, and that’s putting it mildly. I’m stubborn and argumentative, and you’re difficult and egotistical-not a good combination.

Finally, this spring I decided to try reconciling this deep-seeded hurt. So we started hanging out. While it only happened a few times, each time was wonderful and we connected in the incredible way that we used to, and we were so damn happy. Yet now it must end since we’re both going our own ways for the summer, so I guess we’ll see what the autumn brings.

Like I said, you’re my go-to.

If somebody in my family dies, or my car breaks down, or I need to go to the hospital, or some guy is offensive towards me-you’re the one I’m going to call. And I know it's mutual. It doesn’t matter if we don’t date, or talk all the time, or even see each other. But you know what, we love each other, whether we like it or not, we love each other. So , A., thanks for being my go-to.