same old thing

shimmerlikegold

2011.

A new year, a new beginning, a fresh start and change, four things most and many people say. Thing is when it comes around... it’s just the same old thing, just a different day in a different year, and your still there, in my memories, in my heart. You were my first love.

I did start too believe that I was over you... Things were going good, I was somewhat a little happier than I have been in weeks.

Then you have to text me.... you said ‘happy new year, hope you get all you deserve x’ doesn’t sound a big deal, I know, but to me it is, the last time we spoke you was awful to me,

I was horrible back and we left it at that, and then you text me, it bought memories, feelings and heartache back to the surface.

I wish you never texted me, because I realised that I actually aren’t fully over you and I’m starting to hate the fact that I do miss you, I don’t want to miss you anymore.
You have hurt me so much... you pushed me out of your life like I wasn’t worth it, carried on to crush me into little pieces each day, and you just didn’t have a care in the world.

You promised me our future, you promised you would never leave me, you promised that you would never hurt me, but you broke them promises as quick as you made them.

Guess i was just silly to believe them.
So even though part of me does still love you, and part of me probably always will... right now i just can’t bring myself to forgive you. I’m sorry.
Sometimes, I wish things was different between us, that we made it through our problems, that i grabbed our last shot at being happy, that i didn’t let you go but it’s too late now.

I’m starting to believe that we are better off apart, plus you have a new girlfriend, you told me yourself and I said I didn’t care...

Truth is saying I didn’t care was so much easier then admitting that I’m hurt.

Me and you, us, doesn’t exist anymore, they say everything happens for a reason, so maybe we are better off apart and this is for the best.

I want you to know and i hope you do know, that I did love you, I really did, with everything I had, it was always just you, you had my heart, just you.

I tried so hard at times, i know i should of tried all the time, but you should of done as well, we both gave up on each other in the end. I am sorry.

-sr